CM Changes + A History

Some fun changes are happening with Composed Mommy! While I absolutely love the topic of birth and will totally keep talking about it occasionally, I talked a little bit about it in the previous post, but things have shifted a little bit on this page to more of a focus on Anxiety Healing! I have had this tugging at me to do something related to Anxiety since it's something that I've been affected by since almost as long as I can remember! I vividly have the memory of sitting in first grade having my first panic attack. I felt like the room was moving and that dreaded surreal, light headed feeling. I remember my sweet teacher telling me to put my head down, and the boy across from me offered an explanation and said, "Maybe she has low blood sugar?" Haha! So cute when I think about it coming from a first-grader now, and he also happened to be my crush at school, so I appreciated the gesture. Anyway, fast-forward. All throughout school years, I wanted to sit by the door in case I needed to make a quick exit when flushed with panic and that feeling of impending doom. I avoided field trips, because they were out of my comfort area where I knew I could make a quick getaway. It didn't hold me back from doing much other than that, because I had become so used to it, that I would just take my anxiety wherever I would go, like a suitcase. I would have times where I was so good at coping with it and other times where it felt like it was taking over and at the lowest point where I would wake up with panic attacks and nightmares. I didn't have the most...stable, [if that's the word] childhood, and with a dad who was constantly on deployments with the Military, when he returned we were constantly adjusting as a family, and my parents' marriage was on more than shaky ground. I grew up feeling like I couldn't control a lot, and so in my own way, the anxiousness came from a sense of losing control, and repetitive actions or thoughts and OCD tendencies became my sense of control. When I went to college, I felt free, happy, and more in-control than I ever had been, and my anxiety almost vanished! It was amazing, and I saw everything as a new adventure. When I got pregnant with our first baby, it returned with vengeance. The hormones in my body were affecting me in a huge way, and I decided to see a therapist. I definitely went to one that wasn't a good fit for me, because there are amazing ones out there, but it helped in some ways. I started to feel better as my hormones leveled, and I found ways to cope that helped a lot. My subsequent pregnancies weren't as bad because I knew what to expect and my body had done it before and it felt like it was more quick to regulate. Anyway, I go through this history just to tell anyone seeking for help, for solace in knowing they're not alone, for the person who wants to know they're not crazy and just wants to put a name to their symptoms when they feel out of control, so that's why I share. And with more than 3 million cases in the United States per year, Anxiety is one of the most common conditions out there. More people have it than we could ever believe; all to varying degrees and everyone deals with their own trials so differently, so sometimes it's apparent, and sometimes you would never even know!:) I hope that we can learn together and that we can help open up the conversation about things like this! There is much more conversation about it now than there was even a few years ago, but it's still not commonly talked about. So grateful for you being here, and if anything resonates with you, I hope you'll find me on social media @composedmommy and @thedaintypear, or leave a comment so we can get to know each other!:)

XO

Sarah